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Archive for September, 2008

“Cool as Ice”

So today Johanna gave me a cd of one-hit wonders, which included the smash hit “Ice Ice Baby” by fellow Texan Robert Van Winkle, aka Vanilla Ice. I rapped along with Vanilla on my way home from work, and when I got home I vaguely recalled that he was in a movie some time back. Some creative Googling later I landed on the IMDB page for “Cool as Ice.”

Now, I’m sure there are many reasons why this movie was terrible (I’ve never seen it; I’m just guessing here). But being a writer, I want to focus on what I’d like to nominate as the World’s Worst Movie Tagline. Here it is:

“When a girl has a heart of stone, there’s only one way to melt it. Just add Ice.”

1. Stone doesn’t melt. (Ice does, but that seems to be neither here nor there.)

2. Ice does not cause stuff to melt anyway.

So to recap, we have a tagline that I think is trying to be a mixed metaphor but can’t even reach that low bar. I guess it doesn’t matter though, b/c I’m sure Mr. Ice is laughing all the way to the bank with the money he’s still making from “Ice Ice Baby.”

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Thank God for camera phones. This has to be a foreign company, right? That’s a cute white bunny above the word, if you were wondering.

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That my kid has jowls. And loves his toes. And smiles a lot.

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Ike Update #3

Katie and Caleb (sister- and brother-in-law) are going home today as power has been restored to their Clear Lake apartment. Yay for power! Also, my parents and grandma are going home today even though they won’t have power till Sept. 23. They have a generator and can live in the RV till power comes back — Dad needs to get back to work.

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Alligator safety tips

So, Port Arthur is largely a big marsh. The Port Arthur News today reports that many of the local alligators have been displaced and offers some tips on what to do when you encounter a gator. These nuggets include, but are not limited to:

If you hear an alligator hiss, it’s a warning that you are too close.

If you see an alligator while walking a pet make sure that your pet is on a leash and under your control. Your pet will naturally be curious, and the alligator may see an easy food source.

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Ike Update #2

My uncle reports that there are no trees on our house! This was a concern as there are at least 10 pine trees on the property and three fell on the house during Rita. There is some slight roof damage and some missing fencing, but that is to be expected.

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Quick Ike Update

Family is here and safe. Entergy says damage was “catastrophic” and “worse than Rita” and says it will be several weeks before anyone has power. So the family might be here for a while. Ryan’s getting to see a lot of his relatives! We do not know how my parents’ house fared, but my uncle has a pass to get back in town today so he will hopefully drive by it and let us know.

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